How the media works part 31

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More from the feed my company gets from magazines looking for stories. This week – FHM

MEDIA OUTLET: FHM (spokesperson or expert request)

MEDIA TYPE: Consumer Press

JOURNALIST: Ben Wilson (staff)

DEADLINE: 28-May-2009 12:00 

QUERY: I’m very keen to interview experts on the following subjects:

1) How to eliminate stains from chino trousers

2) The science behind building a decent rope swing

3) How to build a homemade barbecue from an oil drum and a Sainsbury’s trolley

4) A legal expert to tell me five surprising summer laws

5) An agriculture expert to tell me the top 8 smelliest roads in Britain (to do with drainage, manure, etc)

6) A surfer to explain how to successfully surf a lilo

7) A hat tailor or stylist to describe how to wear the following hats correctly: a chef’s hat, a straw hat, a baseball cap, a Trilby, a fedora

8 ) A fashion expert or stylist to describe how to choose a beach towel that doesn’t clash/ flatter with your complexion or body composition.

 Thank you.

 

I’m sure that the readers of FHM do have to worry a lot about stained trousers, but I’m not sure about the rest.

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12 Responses to “How the media works part 31”


  1. 1 OS May 28, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Yes, sounds daft, but the person who designed the front cover knew their stuff 🙂

    M.

  2. 2 Stephen Foster May 29, 2009 at 7:37 am

    Get more sex by giving her exactly what she wants!

    Must be related to

    2) The science behind building a decent rope swing

  3. 3 Gareth Gardner May 29, 2009 at 9:54 am

    I would have thought it would have been more closely related to 1) How to eliminate stains from chino trousers

    However, upon giving it more thought I have concluded that they are looking for the wrong things:

    1) How to eliminate stains from a legal expert

    2) The science behind building a decent smelly road

    3) How to build a homemade trilby from a towel and a surfer

    4) An agricultural expert to tell me five surprising manure laws

    5) A fashion expert to tell me the top 8 smelliest hats in Britain (to do with drainage etc)

    6) A stylist to explain how to successfully surf a fedora – and get laid in the process

    7) A hat tailor to describe how to wear the following hats correctly: an oil drum, a Sainsbury’s trolley

    8 ) A fashion expert to describe how to choose a lilo that doesn’t clash/flatter with your complexion or body composition.

  4. 4 markelt May 29, 2009 at 10:02 am

    It all makes as much sense Gareth.

    On to those three coverlines:

    ‘Rule the wastelands when the planet goes tits up.’
    Of course this is impossible. Our monkey overlords will be in charge.

    ‘Is your girlfriend high maintenance?’
    Well, duh. what else?

    ‘Get more sex by giving her exactly what she wants’
    Who the hell knows what she really wants? See previous answer.

  5. 5 johnnyneptune May 29, 2009 at 10:21 am

    everyone knows what women really want: a damn good spooning.

  6. 6 Gareth Gardner May 29, 2009 at 11:11 am

    I’m not really qualified to comment upon that, but in my experience cleaning cutlery does not a romantic evening make.

  7. 7 Stephen Foster May 29, 2009 at 11:44 am

    He spoons them after he shoes them Gareth, but that is only natural for people who have six digits per limb and live in a forest in Hampshire.

  8. 8 johnnyneptune May 29, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    you can spoon or shoe but not both. what sort of savage do you think i am?

  9. 10 OS May 30, 2009 at 9:49 am

    This thread has turned out to be quite a gay one.

  10. 11 Stephen Foster June 1, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    Someone ought to have the decency to note how Gareth ladled in with an amusing quip there.

  11. 12 markelt June 2, 2009 at 8:28 am

    Gareth is funny, talented and very hairy.


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